Bill Maher had a recent segment on why we shouldn’t be celebrating obesity. Spoiler: it’s life threatening.

It reminded me of a discussion I had with a Personal Trainer 10 years ago where she indicated that you should love your body no matter what size it is.

My point was that I never had anyone come to the gym who wanted to lose a bunch of weight and at the same time “loved their body”. It seemed to me that their motivation to change was not driven by their love of their overweight body but rather their extreme dislike in what they did to it.

I feel pretty much the same way today. You can love yourself and your body, but still hate what you’re doing to it and want to improve. It’s similar to being a parent – you love your kids but every once in a while you kick yourself for not doing a better job raising them. The only way they can be the best is for you to give them yours.

And as I have commented before, love is action not just feelings. If you really love your your body you’re going to do what’s best for it. You can say you love your dog, but feeding it table scraps and leaving it tethered to a tree all day is not love.

That’s abuse.

The “Body Positivity” issue is not about loving your body but rather an acceptance of the state it is in. You may feel better about yourself if societal pressure is relieved, but as Maher points out it is detrimental to your health.

So though I don’t accept the whole “Body Positivity” movement, I do believe society needs an adjustment to its thinking regarding obesity:

There is no shame in being obese.

Just because you don’t look at obesity in a positive light doesn’t mean there is shame in it. A small percentage of people want to be obese, but there are just so many forces working against us today.

• We are designed to seek pleasure and conserve energy. It’s been hard-wired into our unconscious for tens of thousands of years. We have a feast or famine mindset and the only way to overcome is with conscious effort. That means constantly thinking and planning. This comes easier to some than others.
• Our environment is flooded with food that is bad for us. This is a recent development. The demand for high calorie, high fat, high sugar foods has driven a supply glut.
• There are more sit down jobs than ever. Sitting results in less activity and more eating.

It takes self-discipline, available time, and the right environment to be healthy. Some people just don’t have the luxury of any or all of these things.

The people that say “just stop eating” are out of their minds. They have no idea the circumstances surrounding why someone is overweight and how it may be impossible for someone to make certain changes. I had one guy I worked with that used to drink soda all day just to stay awake and attentive. He had 3 kids at home and this was his vice to provide.

So where the body positivity crowd is celebrating a condition that promotes an unhealthy life (lots of doctor visits, medical testing and pharmaceuticals) my position is that we shouldn’t look negatively at those that are struggling. We should be looking at the issue in a more “how can I help” light.

Know someone that needs help? Here’s some of the messages we should be sending:

Don’t stress out over being unhealthy.

Stress is an enemy. It can motivate, but it can also kill. It can prevent any success whatsoever in weight loss by producing the fat retaining hormone cortisol.

The way to deal with stressing out about being overweight is by taking action. Meditation and CBT can help, but stress is relieved with physical activity – fight or flight. DEAL with the stress and relax knowing you are taking action and are on a journey to get better.

Recognize that getting healthy is a conscious effort requiring self-discipline and some help.

Because your unconscious brain is wired to eat and rest, your conscious brain will need to take charge. Your success will depend on 1) your commitment, 2) how well you know yourself and 3) your level of self-discipline.

Self-discipline is dependent on circumstances and is not evenly distributed among us. People with high self-discipline and a supporting set of circumstances may not be able to understand why others just can’t fix themselves. “Just eat unprocessed, plant-based foods and exercise.” Easy to say. Much more difficult for some to do.

There are plenty of options for people with lower self-discipline and/or difficult circumstances.

Eating right takes effort. It takes planning, special shopping, and some special meal prep. Those with the right set of circumstances and good self-discipline can handle all that. The rest of us struggle. A quick fix for this is to have food delivered to your home. There are a number of companies that do this to help with weight loss. Is it expensive? Sure. But you’re worth it.

Exercise is similar. Some people can do the research, develop a routine and stick to it. For those of us that need help, we can join an exercise class where people support you and encourage you as well as tell you exactly what to do. You just need to show up. There are also videos that can help us.

And of course there’s always walking – which is the start for anyone that’s starting to get back in shape.

With commitment, you can develop self-discipline over time by forming strong habits. There is research that shows people with apparent high discipline instead just have good habits they stick to. Their actual self-discipline is minimally required because the force of the habit is driving performance.

And the best thing you can do in your struggle is…

Hire a Personal Trainer.

You need someone in your corner with a background in nutrition as well as exercise. They can lay out an entire plan to guide you through the process. They will look at what you’re doing and map out a course to get you where you need to be. All you have to do is follow their direction.

More reasons to hire a Trainer.

Journey of Continuous Improvement

Quick fixes seldom work long term. If you’ve reached the point of being fed-up with your body, look to the long term. Put systems in place that you can live with. Educate yourself on what healthy eating and exercise looks like for you.

Small steps multiplied by years of improvement result in big changes.

Ron