Everyone wants a long life, but few work toward a truly meaningful one.

We laid to rest my step-mother in June. Her life was the epitome of meaning.

Nancy E. Fay NP was diagnosed with Type I diabetes back in the 1950’s. We know now that the life expectancy for someone diagnosed in the 50’s with Type 1 was about 55 years old. She died at 77.

Nancy not only beat the odds, but went on to live an extraordinary life.

Nancy was a Registered Nurse, a Nurse Practitioner, and a Physician Assistant. She was also a certified Diabetes Educator.  She paved new roads for the benefit of people with diabetes locally and state wide. She established the first diabetes educational programs in the Mohawk Valley and she was the first to receive medical coverage for such in the U.S.  Nancy was the first female non physician to become president of the NYS Diabetes Association.

Nancy was a trail blazer. Her whole professional life was full of meaning, and much of her meaning came from her illness – diabetes. She was a living testament to all those with diabetes on how one can live an extraordinary life with the condition IF it is well managed.

In her pursuit to help with diabetes management, she was a guinea pig for the local use of the insulin pump, which is widely used today.

The memorial in her honor was indeed a celebration. She beat the odds and lived a life of true meaning. A life to be proud of.

A much different “celebration of life” was saying goodbye to my friend Kate this past summer. She was 39 years old.

If you measured her life by quality instead of quantity, her cup overflowed.

We became friends about 13 years ago when she came to our gym with her mother. Barb and I ran our first Fat Blast program in 2011 and Kate signed up. She wanted to lose a few pounds.

Looking back, I don’t know how she did it. She had a farm and also played an active role in a large family run business. She also had a husband and a son at the time.

But she not only participated in the program, she jumped in and helped run it. The program was one of the most successful we have run – all due to Kate.

One of her biggest contributions to the program was her weekly emails. I would instruct everyone on what to do and she in turn would make fun of me:

Ron: “I want each of you to log 3000 calories of NON-GYM related exercise this week. (You also have to do your 5 regular exercise sessions. Be creative. Shovel snow, walk the dogs, walk the mall, walk during lunch, dance, clean, jump rope, snow shoe, ski, etc.”

Kate: “Sounds good coach, I plan on unicycling for 3.48hours and playing my flute for the remaining 1500 calories which means I need to do that for 8.67 hours. Carrinne, we could put on our bikinis and meet to play beach volleyball and burn 690 calories, that would cut my flute playing down by almost 4 hours. I used to like to play rugby, but I think they should also add how many calories are consumed in the pre and post-game “rituals,” so I guess I will stick to my unicycle.”

Here’s another:

Ron: “So how are the rest of you doing? I always figure no news is not good news, so prove me wrong and report!”

Kate: “today did an hour of snowshoeing until I tripped over my compost pile (i couldn’t see it the snow was too deep) and if you have ever tried getting up with snowshoes or skis on it is impossible. Add a baby in a backpack and you are done. Had to struggle to take one snowshoe off and put it under one hand so I could push off enough to reach my other foot, then take that one off and use the snowshoes like crutches to push myself up off the ground and trudge through the 3+ feet of snow behind my house.  That was your mental image to motivate you to stay inside and do some yoga. Plan on doing a pilates DVD sometime today to work on my balance!! “

I read in Jordan Peterson’s 12 Rules for Life that if you are trying to find meaning in your life, just look to reduce pain and suffering any way you can.

It is amazing at what you find when you take on the task of reducing pain and suffering – even in the smallest ways. Every argument that starts is extinguished. Every person that cuts you off in traffic is forgiven.

Kate and Nancy took a particular challenge in their own life – like weight loss or diabetes – that caused them some pain and helped others deal with it as well.

How much less pain and suffering would there be if we all leveraged our own pain and used it to help others reduce theirs?

I’ll miss both of these remarkable women, but my memories of them and what they taught me through example will stay with me for as long as I live.

Ron